It’s treatment week.. again. Number 12 this time. 12 in total and 8 on just Nivolumab. As always the anxiety is rising despite the fact that the last treatment gave me virtually no problems at all. Which was a first.
It’s also been time for another CT scan, last one was in April and I have them every 3 months now. Last week I had the latest one.
I got my usual, pre-treatment telephone consult yesterday afternoon and they had the results already.
“It’s good news!” I was told.
Fluid on lungs virtually disappeared
Nodes in lungs stable – no growth (still almost disappeared)
Tumour in Kidney – stable – no growth. Still at 4.3cm
“How do you feel?”
“Disappointed” I said.
Photo courtesy of Matthew Henry
I knew this was likely to happen. The first two CT scans showed good reduction in tumour size from its original 12cm but thats when immunotherapy is most effective, at the start. After that its job is to stop the cancer getting worse. So in that respect it’s working.
But I wanted more. I want the damn tumour gone. Knowing it’s there means a constant axe hanging over me. The fact it’s made no difference is really disappointing. I’ve always been told my cancer is incurable so I shouldn’t really be surprised but it’s still hard to accept.
Well as long as I’m still here and able to type this then I should be happy right?
In other news I’m in my 4th week back at work after a very long break in April. The fatigue still makes a full day impossible at the moment but I’ve getting a lot done in the time I am working so I’m pleased I’m able to still contribute to the workload.
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