Nothing is going to happen for at least a week so Katie and I decide to bring our pre-arranged (arranged before cancer) week off work forward a week. Use what may be the last ‘clear’ week for the foreseeable future to just relax and chill (or at least as much as we could)
And its a great week, the weather was amazing for September. We had a nice (albeit slow) walk at Virginia Water with the dogs
Another nice walk down at West Wittering Beach
We also have a nice meal out one evening with friends to celebrate Kira starting her second year as a trainee nurse. Plus some other nice dog walks
We used the time off to get more lists and paperwork in order. On one of our many chats I tell Katie I’m not scared, I’m resigned to dying and it doesn’t scare me. I am scared about what and who I’m leaving behind. I seem quite calm now and have accepted it.
I also have to start taking pain medication regularly now, not just as needed. I’m on 2 x 500mg paracetamol and 2 x 30mg codeine 4 times a day with oramorph for breakthrough pain. The pain seems to be getting worse almost on a daily basis and that scares me. It’s all around my chest when breathing but moves from side to side and front to back.
Our family and friends now all know and I’m amazed at the warmth and generosity shown to us all but it throws up an unusual issue. People don’t know how to talk to me. I make it clear from the outset that I’m happy to talk but people are uncomfortable discussing it or don’t know how to broach the subject. I understand but I don’t want people to treat me differently.
Towards the end of the week the pain is becoming tiresome and I’m moving less and less to avoid having to breath hard and cause more pain. I’m really hoping there’s a way to get rid of this pain.
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