Treatment number 9 today and it doesn’t get any easier. I spend the day really anxious as I know it’s going to be unpleasant for a day or two afterwards. But it’s working and therefore worth the discomfort.
Today’s treatment was made worse by them not having my appointment for today but instead had it as tomorrow. They fitted me in but I had to wait 90 minutes for the nivolumab to get made up. Then, for some reason my left arm was not accepting the drip very fast and it took another 90 minutes to take the infusion that should only take 60 minutes. I was shattered when I got home.
My most recent scan has showed further reduction in the kidney tumour since January of on average 1cm on each side so it’s now approx 4.3cm on the shortest side and 5cm on the longest. Almost a cube.
The nodules on the lungs are still stable, so no growth or shrinkage.
I’m not as excited this time at the news as I’d rather not have a tumour at all and rather not keep taking the immunotherapy every month. Yes it’s reduced in size significantly since the start but the treatment is taking it out of me and there are days when I wonder if it’s worth it.
I’ve had days where the fatigue is stopping me doing anything at all. I’ll wake up, be awake for an hour or so then sleep for the rest of the day. That’s not a great existence.
I can’t work and I feel guilty doing anything that’s not work. I’m paranoid someone will see me walking the dogs or trying to tidy the garage or riding my motorbike and report me. They won’t obviously see me sleeping for hours on end afterwards though.
So I have a mental as well as a physical battle. And I’ve just been signed off from work again for the foreseeable future.
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