I fully expected the day after my 4th round of treatment to be spent dealing with a bit of flu, hot flushes and tiredness but hadn’t expected to also have to cope with feeling particularly fed up generally down. Full on grumps, feeling sorry for myself. Whatever you want to call it.
As usual I had no energy and I wanted to get out for a walk but just couldn’t be bothered. Everyone was carrying on as normal and I just wanted to curl up and hide.
Luckily our dogs Meg and Winston are good at picking up moods and can often lift mine just by being there. This worked on Friday morning for a bit.
It didn’t last long though. It probably wasn’t helped by a row the previous evening between some other family members that really upset me. I’m well known for being grumpy quite often and I know I can be but every now and then it happens and I just don’t know why.
People know not to ask “why are you being grumpy?” As that never helps.
This low mood carried on to today, Saturday and everything was getting to me. In the end I forced myself to go out for a walk. But that didn’t help either. I just wanted a quiet walk and everywhere I went was rammed with people. I drove to a few spots then gave up and went home. Sometimes I just want to be alone.
The dogs still tried to cheer me up.
In the end I just wanted to be on my own so went to bed at about 7.30. I still don’t know what the main problem is but I know I’m not happy about whatever it is. I hope a good nights sleep might help.
I’ll put it down to hormones being messed around by the treatment.
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