I’ve missed two cycles of treatment now and I have to admit I’m surprised at how much difference it’s made.
I have more energy, I’m sleeping less I have fewer other side effects. I’m more “me”
When I told my oncologist this last month he immediately said we should stop treatment, he thought it was the right thing to do.
He said even if the cancer came back there were still lots of treatment options for me and the prognosis was good.
We agreed to hold off on a final decision until before the 3rd cycle of treatment was due. That’s this week.
The thought of stopping treatment still scares me however I appreciate fully that I will feel better for it.
So I suggested a compromise.
I’m going back on treatment this week and they’re organising a new CT scan as I’m over due for one. If the results of that scan are still all clear even after no treatment for 11 weeks. Then I will stop the Nivolumab..
I’ll give myself more chance to be “me” and fully accept the risks.
I will stop just existing and continue living.
In the meantime I hope the NHS change their stupid rules where if you stop Nivolumab for 12 weeks you cannot go back onto it on the NHS. That makes no sense whatsoever.
So if I need more treatment in the future it will be something different. That’s what’s really scary. 😦
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